Jokes imitating Reality

 Recently I came across a joke which reminded me of an incident in IIT which I will never forget. After we returned from our vacations one semester a friend of mine(Dusad) found one of his four windows broken. To this he comes over frustrated to my room and tells me, "Sala mereko pata laga meri kach kisne todi hai toh mein uski char todke apni teen tod dunga" (If I find out who broke my window i will break all four of his and then break three of mine.) All of us sitting there were pretty mystified till he explained, "Taki usko meri khidki todne ka satisfaction na mile."(So he wont get the satisfaction of breaking my windows). I am pretty sure I am never gonna meet a more unique person in my life.

BTW This was the joke. PS: I have replaced the word New Yorker by Dusad in the joke.

A Frenchman, an Englishman and Dusad are exploring the jungle and are captured by a fierce tribe.

The chief tells them, "The bad news is that we've caught you, we're going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die."

The Frenchman says, "I take ze poison." The chief gives him some poison; the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and drinks it down.

The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, please." The chief gives him a pistol; the Brit points it at his head, says, "God save the Queen!" and blows his brains out.

Dusad says, "Gimme a fork." The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. Dusad takes the fork and jabs himself all over -- the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. Blood gushes from every hole.

The chief screams, "What are you doing?"
Dusad looks at the chief and says, "So much for your canoe, asshole!"

Life Unexpected

While I was out for my walk to I glanced up at the sky. It was one of the rare occasions when the skies in Bombay (Yes I was born in Bombay and I hate the word Mumbai, even though I am a Maharashtrian.) were clear enough for me to see the stars. I spotted Orion in the sky, pretty much the only constellation I can spot, and was transport back to my IIT days. I used to see that constellation quite often when I was there and somehow it became a trigger in my mind for IIT (the same way Enrique’s “I’m not in love” song seems to be a trigger for me remembering studying for the JEE, that damn song used to play every night on VH1, whenever I was taking a study break). Anywayz while I was back in IIT I used to always think whenever I think back about this place I am gonna hate it. I am gonna hate the classes, the food, most of the profs and all the other shit that IIT put me through. I always thought that if ever I am in a position of power I would change this place inside out. Would do things the way they should be done. The typical fantasies an over smart brain with nothing to do concocts. This isn’t going where you think it’s going. I don’t have fond or cherished memories of that place nor have I suddenly realised that what they did was justified or really even needed for that matter. I still hate its guts. But looking back I have a feeling of indifference towards the place. I just don’t give a damn about it anymore. Loving or hating the place implies that you still care about it one way or another. I just feel indifferent towards it. Almost everybody I ever talked to had fond memories of their alma mater. Some hated it. But no one I talked to felt indifference towards theirs. So is it just me? Is hating your alma mater better than not giving a damn at all? I really don’t know or care…